Have you ever felt sorry for yourself? I know I have. This tends to happen when things don’t go our way, and we wonder, “Why does everything bad happen to me?” That’s when self-pity creeps in, and it’s far more dangerous than you might realize. 

 

Self-pity is a sin that looks only at yourself, focusing on your own problems and feeling sorry for yourself. Strangely enough, it is a form of emotional suffering, but it is self-inflicted. You choose to give in to these feelings. Self-pity has three dangerous characteristics: 1) It is focused solely on yourself, 2) It invites others to focus on you and to pity you, and 3) It offers no solution. 

 

Having self-pity is like digging a pit for yourself, getting in, and then trying to bury yourself alive. If someone comes along, you don’t want them to help you out of the pit, you just want them to see that you’re in the pit and feel sorry for you. Self-pity, then, is self-destructive.

 

Believe it or not, two great men in the Bible succumbed to self-pity: Elijah and Jonah. First, let’s talk about Elijah. He was a bold prophet of God who stood up to the wicked King Ahab. He challenged the prophets of Baal to a competition on Mount Carmel, and God sent fire down from heaven in answer to Elijah’s powerful prayer. 

 

But then, when Elijah was threatened by Queen Jezebel, he ran in fear and hid in a cave (see I Kings 19:1-3). What happened? Was this the same man who had just brought great victory for God’s people? He was now acting like a coward. When God finally got Elijah’s attention, here was the prophet’s response: “And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away” (v. 10). Notice Elijah’s pity party. He acts like the world has ended, and he says he’s the only one left (which was not true). 

 

Now let’s talk about Jonah. If you remember the story of Jonah, the reluctant prophet eventually obeyed God and preached to the Ninevites, and they listened! They repented and were spared by God. But that’s not what Jonah wanted. He wanted them to be destroyed. He went outside and sat down to watch the fire show (it was probably the 40th day). 

 

As he sat there, God tried to teach a lesson to Jonah using a gourd and a worm (see Jon. 4:6-8). It didn’t seem to work. Jonah felt miserable as he sat in the heat, even though he could have gone into the city for shade! God’s point with the object lesson was this: Shouldn’t God pity the people of Nineveh, who had repented of their sins and turned to God in faith? Aren’t these people more important than a short-lived gourd in the desert? Jonah had more compassion for the gourd than for the people of Nineveh. This was  because the gourd served his own self-interests. 

 

Elijah and Jonah had something in common: they both wished to die. God didn’t let them, of course, but that’s how dangerous self-pity can be. When a person is left to wallow in their own self-pity, their behavior will mutate into harmful, self-destructive desires. Some have even committed suicide. This suffering has no purpose, and it has no solution. 

 

God cannot use people who are full of self-pity. He only uses the humble (Jam. 4:6) and the contrite in heart (Isa. 66:2). When you are feeling sorry for yourself, the world says that you need to love yourself more. But self-love is the root of self-pity. You don’t need to love yourself more; you need to love God more. If you are struggling with self-pity, then you need to read I Corinthians 13. This is the kind of love you need to have! This love is completely selfless and sacrificial. So repent of your self-pity, and ask the Lord to fill you with joy again so you can serve Him faithfully.